Appetizers
The Tartuffe handkerchief and how to use it

Father Violet is an apostle following the evangelical tradition: he keenly feels these virtuous hatreds that vice knows how to give to generous souls, and, like Polyeuctes or Chrysostom, he does not fear to demonstrate them publicly. Meeting a naked woman in the street, he slashed her with his own hands. The naked woman was featured on a poster. She was a tout and a seducer to boot. Her mission was to attract passers-by to a theater where artists dressed from head to toe play a boring play from start to finish. Thus the act of Father Violet, who appeared before the police commissioner, was an act of justice.

The police commissioner did not fail to point out to the apostle that his zeal would have been much better spent in bringing bathrobes, trousers and camisoles to the young ladies who we see on the stage of our music halls and who do not They literally have nothing to wear. In music halls, the flesh is quick (on the other hand, the spirit is weak) and young women in the flesh offer amateurs a more direct temptation than the allure of a paper woman.

To which Father Violet was able to respond that the paper lady stood out to passers-by; while amateurs pay specially to see ladies in the flesh in establishments where ecclesiastics do not frequent. This is what Didi, one day, made her Latin teacher understand.

That day, Didi had something to ask the abbot in charge of the class. Following the custom of schoolchildren when they want to attract the teacher's attention, Didi raised her right arm and snapped her fingers. Not having obtained communication, he raised his left arm and repeated the maneuver. Then, as it was probably an urgent matter, he waved his two arms simultaneously and frantically, with a sound like double castanets. The abbot looked at him sternly.

Tell me, La Fouchardière, when you have finished playing the Spanish dancer! Didi, dismayed, let both of his arms fall. How! Mr. Abbot, do you know what Spanish dancers are? Have you seen any Spanish dancers?

Clergymen are not obliged to go to places where dancing girls are found; if they go there, it is at their own risk. But they are obliged to circulate in the street; and, in the street, nothing should be exposed that offends the feelings of old ladies and ecclesiastics.

However, Father Violet will have a lot to do if he wants to continue his apostolate. He is obliged to break all the statues that we see in public gardens and which offer the gaze of babies and nannies of naked gentlemen and ladies. in marble or bronze. It is true that this spectacle in no way excites the nurses; nor are passers-by offended by the sight of chubby behinds exposed by small children.
And then, hasn't Father Violet thought about the counter-offensive that could be attempted by the enemies of religion? Particularly among militant socialists there are extremely chaste and virtuous citizens. If these other apostles appeared on the other side of the barricade to destroy the particularly scabrous sculptures that we see on the porches of our cathedrals...

Or simply to cover with a modest veil this God who we see in all Christian churches and who is represented in the form of a naked man...

G. DE LA FOUCHARDIÈRE.